Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
