I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize
