It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Randomize
