He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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