Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
just come out here and I will go home with you...
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I'm too high and old for this...
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
