I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
