I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Randomize
