Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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