Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
