Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
