So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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