Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
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