if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Randomize
