were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
