I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
