we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Randomize
