He asked me if I "almost moaned"
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
