I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Who wears a wallet chain?!
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
