It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Randomize
