lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
