just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
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