i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
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