worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
