Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Randomize
