If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
