the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
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