you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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