I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Randomize
