Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
my sisters under your porch take her home
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
And then my night got REAL pukey
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
