it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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