she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
