She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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