My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
