Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
