Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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