I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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