my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
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