so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
being pregnant is like rehab
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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