Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
