it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
