All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize
