i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
