he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
