Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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