we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
