trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
