what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
