I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize
