Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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