He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
My boob is missing a layer of skin
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
