Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
